It’s been a long time since I wrote anything in here. I have written a few things over the past two years or so, mainly for the bulletin in our care group in church (care group = small group of people who meet regularly to have bonding and other spiritually refreshing activities), but I didn’t have the chance to post them here. Most likely I will put them as back posts though.

I was moved to begin writing again firstly because our church is encouraging those who can to submit their own works in the personal section of our church bulletin. Then our cgmate Julie tremendously blessed us by revamping our cg bulletin big time. I’m inspired to contribute something. I should also mention fellow blogger Earl (his blog can be found here: Planet Earl) whom I just encountered through Friendster, who, through some exchanges, told me that if writing would leave me I would terribly miss it. And so there, an official new blog entry.

David Archuleta is singing in the background as I am writing this. I really admire this kid. I used the term kid just because of his age; he is so young. But he has accomplished a lot already. And he sings great too! I watched his performance in AOL Sessions. I was beginning to describe how I thought his performance is great, but as I realized that I am no expert, I deleted it. Let’s just leave it that I really liked it, and with my limited knowledge in music, let me just say that I didn’t hear any off-key notes, and he performed with a quality close to the recorded versions of the songs from his album. I also really like his demeanor, very humble and very wholesome.

I must admit that seeing David perform all throughout his stint in AI made me aspire again to sing well. I have been singing since I was very young, I guess around 5 or so, and I really like singing. But sad to say I guess I really don’t know how to sing. I don’t know whether I really suck at it, because I somehow believe I am able to pull off a decent performance when I am in the shower, but when I sing in front of an audience everything seems to fall apart. I remember 2 weeks ago when I was supposed to sing in a special activity in church, I was so stressed out during practice. I really can’t sing the song properly. But at home when I practice by myself I can manage. (Or so I think) Despite some people saying that I have a good voice I really couldn’t pull it off. I feel sorry for those who I practice with, because they also get tired from playing the guitar and the beat box, as well as the one who I am supposed to sing the song with. I wanted to give singing a try to see if I can also do it as a ministry. Probably because I still need to learn a great deal more about singing, our performance didn’t push through because we didn’t have enough time. I had mixed emotions towards that; relieved and a bit sad because I wanted to try this for reasons more than personal.

Which brings me to the main point of this entry. I sing, I dance, I write, I do programming, and do other stuff, but I really don’t excel in them. I am having doubts whether I am doing the right things, if I am focusing on the very thing I was purposed to do. Or have I been focusing just on the things that I like? Just as a camera won’t be of much use as a telescope (sorry, can’t think of another use of a camera near to its original use), it will be most useful for, um, taking pictures, because that is what it is made for, I am thinking that probably I will excel in the exact thing that I am supposed to do. If that ever is the case, I sure hope I find it out soon, because I am getting older.

There. My personal thoughts at the moment. Though I still hope people who will read it will still get something from it.

Glad to have come back to writing.